Saturday, February 9, 2008

24/7 D/s Relationship: Is It Possible?



As a Pro Domme, specializing in role-play, I usually started a session by asking the client to write out a “contract”: a brief description of the fantasy he wanted to act out.

One of the requested “contracts” was the “Mistress Wife” scenario.

The client would confess that he secretly yearned for a permanent domestic relationship with a Woman who would dominate him 24/7, telling him precisely what to do and when to do it.

A domestic Female tyrant in control both of his mind and his body.

A Wife who would issue orders and punish him severely for the slightest infraction of Her rules.

This fantasy spanking-spouse would treat My client at worst as a sniveling slave and at best as a pampered pet.

And if She occasionally humiliated and shamed him in public, so much the better.

In those domination sessions I would play the role of Mistress Wife.

At the time I often wondered: In reality, was this scenario plausible–-or even possible?

Is the “Mistress Wife” scenario merely another male-creature fantasy or can it be a fact?


Privately, based on My own experience, the answer was: impossible!

Daily I’d spend eight or nine exhausting hours whipping (or otherwise tormenting) My consensual clients.

I loved My work, but by the close of business I‘d feel like a starting pitcher who’d gone extra innings. My arm and wrist would hurt like hell. I would be mentally exhausted from My role-playing.

The last thing I wanted to do was go home and be obliged to beat on My boyfriend.

Then old bob came along.

Before bob retired he'd been CEO of his own company. He could offer me a lifestyle of utter luxury and ease. On My part it wasn't a love match. But bob was bright, considerate and charming.

And oh so very rich.

Unfortunately, once we started sharing the same space, old bob soon revealed typical male-creature symptoms: bullying bursts of testosterone and personal habits fit for a pigsty. (I’m a neat freak!)

I was determined to hold onto our marriage--and bob’s money.

In self-defense, I had no alternative: I was forced to play the real-life role of Mistress Wife.

I had three choices.

*Option 1: 24/7 Mistress-Wife Slaver:

I could transform My husband into My full-time personal slave.

That meant castrating him mentally (and threatening to do it physically).

I rejected that extreme option out of hand.

If bob were My slave 24/7, I would have to play the role of Pro Dominatrix for the same duration.

That sounded too much like work.

Besides, there were parts of My relationship with bob I wanted to preserve, aspects of his personality that amused and entertained me.

When bob was being a good little boy, he could be charming, intellectually stimulating and a friend to confide in.

I needed to be in complete control, without becoming a 24/7 Lady-Slaver.

*Option 2: Weekend Warrior

During My first visit to The Other World Kingdom (read My OWK blog entry below), I’d met several Dominas who actively played the Mistress Wife role only once a week or once a month at special clubs such as SM Club Doma in Amsterdam. The clubs offer fully-equipped S&M “playrooms” and fetish “play parties”.

Nice, but not for Me.

bob needed the threat of the whip every single day, not just on weekends at prearranged times.

So I settled on:

*Option 3: Full-time Wife–-and Mistress On-Demand

On the surface bob and I have an ordinary marriage.

I allow bob to perform all those unpleasant little-boy rituals that male creatures are addicted to: drinking in excess; watching pro football marathons on Sundays; and joining his fellow male creatures in their tribal sport: monopolizing the conversation, at Women’s expense, during dinner parties.

And for every transgression (particularly pro football on Sundays) bob pays a price. I reward his naughtiness with a severe bare-assed spanking.

In private he must address me as Mistress.

Every morning bob's first task is to kneel naked before me and kiss both My feet.

The physical punishment and abject humiliation have improved bob's behavior.

The truth is, living with a man is like sharing a seesaw with a childhood companion.

With you perched on one end and your friend on the other, some of the time is spent simply sitting and interacting: laughing, chatting, having fun.

And then the board slips out of equilibrium.

I always wanted to be the one to take over and restore the board to an even plane.

The bruises I leave on bob’s ass and ego keep our seesaw board in balance.

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